Glamour Shots

Glamour Shots

Unless you have a top-notch team of make-up artists and hair personnel, forget about looking great immediately after the great “push-out.” I was a fat, hideous wreck who had no business getting a picture taken that early. Less than 30 minutes after the little tike made her way from my loins, someone thought it would be a good time to get the lovely family together for “Our First Picture.” I don’t know who the fatty is with my fiance and baby, but she was in need of some serious help. Puffy & swollen eyes, swollen cheeks and chin, nose stretched out, and hair that somehow made it out un-scathed. Damn! Is that MY hair? It looks GOOOOOD!

At any rate, a new mommy should never have her picture taken within the first 24 hours of having a baby. Not only will YOU not like it, but your baby will see that picture someday and be embarrassed. He or she will always worry that you will take them to school looking like that and then they will be harassed at recess. I’m pretty certain the “Yo Momma” jokes originated from these pictures. The only pictures that should be taken are of the baby and the over-anxious holders of the baby. You, on the other hand, can wait until tomorrow. Be sure you’ve showered, changed into something presentable and have had access to both makeup and a curling or flat iron. The baby will not change overnight, and no one will wonder why there aren’t any of you in the first 100 shots. The sexy pics of you on day 2 will make up for any unanswered questions.