Facebook: Not My Friend

Facebook: NOT My Friend

Being sick for the last several days kept me from logging into Facebook and really caring about the posts I was reading. It's the same old thing over and over. Pictures of trips, pictures of bars, pictures of kids, pictures of food, pictures of accomplishments. I've done it, too...

And if it's not pictures, it's a brag fest about where someone is checking into, where they're going, or who they're with, or what they've just purchased.

None of these mattered to me before. Sure, I enjoy seeing pics of my close friends and their accomplishments, children, or major events. But before, they would have e-mailed me a link to an album or just sent me pics in the mail.

Before... there used to be a tangible relationship between friends and family. Something you could touch and hear and see right in front of you. A hug was a warm embrace from someone who cared about you. Not a "poke" brought to you by a click of a button a thousand miles away.

Seeing a friend on the weekend was an exciting and comforting thing. You looked forward to being able to see them face to face to talk about the week's events, share stories, and be upset that you couldn't spend MORE time with them because of all the things you want to talk about.

These days we already know everything going on because it's posted everyday. So when we finally DO sit down with our friends face to face, there is less to talk about, and the excitement of seeing them isn't as high as it used to be. The next thing you know, one person is digging their phone out to cure their boredom with none other than Facebook.

Where did this sense of feeling like we need to be constantly stimulated by other people come from? Why are so many people entitled to know MY business? Why do I feel so freaking special that I should know everything about them? Was curiosity ever this big?

I don't ever remember a time when I would call my friends to tell them I was walking into a particular location. I can imagine it would have gone something like this:

ring...ring... ring...
Beth: "Hello?"
Angie: "Hey, Beth Ann! Guess what?"
Beth: "What?"
Angie: "I am walking into McDonald's RIGHT NOW!!
Beth: "Ok?"
Angie: "Just thought you should know. In case you were wondering where I was and what I was doing right now. This is what I'm doing!"
Beth: "Uhh... ok. I gotta go. Bye."

See? A complete waste of a phone call, interrupting my friend's precious time, to tell her something that has no bearing on her life whatsoever. She would have thought I was nuts! ( I am a little, but that's beside the point.)

Today, we assume too much. We assume our friends will no longer care about us if we're not in their face all the time. We assume they all want to know is what we're doing and who we're with. We assume we matter more than what we actually do. What kind of an ego do we really have that we assume what we do matters MORE than what their other friends are doing and that we should take the time to type it out and make them waste THEIR time reading it? Who the hell are we?

Now let's face it. I'm not a big phone person at all. I rarely talk to my own family, let alone my close friends. But true friendship means not having to talk to each other all the time, not having to shove current events in our faces, and knowing that our busy schedules prevent that from happening. We understand each other and know we love each other without all that stuff.

So what is having 200+ friends on Facebook mean? It means we have an ego and that we're actually more disconnected from our friends than we think.

Being disconnected is the single most dangerous thing for this world. Being disconnected is what causes so many misunderstandings, which can lead to problems, which can lead to bigger problems, and eventually we've lost touch with all things that truly matter. A manager who is disconnected from his employees can never understand their needs, making a difficult work environment. A parent who is disconnected from their child, will one day ask themselves why their child is in trouble or getting bad grades in school. A leader who doesn't listen to the needs of the people, will ultimately be hated by them. Disconnected leaders turn into breeders of unfortunate events, causing more problems that lead to more problems. In case you didn't get all that, I said being disconnected leads to problems.

Being a member on Facebook has taken so much out of our lives. We spend HOURS and HOURS scrolling and scrolling through endless pages of information that really have no importance to us. Sure, there are specific areas of content that benefit us in some ways. But the bulk of it is completely useless in our real lives. Society has us brainwashed into thinking we NEED to know everything about everything. We NEED to be in touch constantly to stay informed and to keep up-to-date with current events. We NEED to have our phones with us at all times because we might miss something. We NEED to use our phones as a means to avoid conversation with someone if we're uncomfortable.

I once heard someone say they were talking to a bartender recently who felt his job was pointless these days because of the lack of conversation that goes on with his customers. In the good old days, a patron would pull up a bar stool, ask for a beer, and converse with the bartender. They'd talk about sports, the weather, their shitty day, women, or whatever they could think of because that's what people did to form relationships and rapport. That's how networking happened. These days, he said it's rare for someone to WANT to talk to him. The minute they arrive, they order their beer, and then proceed to play on their phone, text someone, talk on the phone with someone, or go on Facebook. The only time they talk to him is to ask for another drink.

We've completely lost that sense of fellowship in the world. And this will ultimately be our demise.

In the time you took to post something about where you were going or what you're doing, you could have been enjoying your REAL life even more. Your REAL life doesn't involve your phone, your computer, or knowing what everyone else is doing. Your REAL life is what you're missing out on and if you're not living it, you're basically dead. What is the point of all this world if we're not exploring it, touching it, listening to it, smelling it, and tasting it? While you're posting about where you want to go, someone else who understands what it means to really live their life, is already there, and utilizing their time more wisely.

I'm not against Facebook. I'm just going to be less involved in it. It's an awesome world out there. And I deserve to enjoy it.